lyricalib @ livejournal

I'm so worried about not making you happy enough that I'm not getting what I need. Ironic?

I hate having to choose between sleep and something that's really important. Tomorrow I really need to be prepared for two classes - there's a quiz in one and a presentation in the other. I'm not really ready for either one. My fault for dropping the ball I guess, but I'm still pretty sick and I can't seem to find a moment to just sit and get stuff done. I don't know how other people do it sometimes. The only explanation I ever get is "they just do". I'd "just do" stuff if I had the time to "just get it done".

I've had a terrible headache today.. Last night I fell asleep pretty early and woke up at 1am. I had this headache then, fell asleep again, woke up this morning at 8 with the same headache. This headache lasted throughout the entire day until about 8:30pm when I was finally able to take 800mg of ibuprofen to try to get rid of it. I finally have some relief.

I got into my car today.. well, my mom's van, since my car isn't running currently.. technically, I stumbled into the van, and then I tried to start it with the house key. When you look at it THAT way, sleep starts to seem pretty important.. I'm definitely not handling the lack of sleep now as well as I was a couple weeks ago. Oh well, I guess some things don't last, even if you want them to. :P

..hi. I guess all I can say is hi. Not much to say if you're not sure the person you're reaching out to will ever get the message. But I'm thinking about you. I'll text you instead.

P.S. I keep looking down my news feed and it seems like every once in a while I'll run into a facebook status that somehow seems like it was just magically meant for me. Here is today's: "You might miss the moment if you don't seize it. Because you're too afraid of what might happen if you do."

Got really ridiculously nervous during rehearsal today. It was partially due to the placement during the solo I wasn't prepared for.. partially due to being sick and hurting almost everywhere. I think I physically tried to shrink into nothing a couple of times, but I'm pretty sure that didn't work. I need to make a point to remember that I can't function under this amount of mental stress..

I still feel desperate, but I'm not sure why. I just want things to be good again. I wish I knew what that meant.

Definitely almost just fell asleep in the shower. Yay for late nights when you intend to go to bed much earlier.. Worth it? I think so. Productivity!

I just spent the last half hour or so staring at a wall. Right I'm watching some of Marie Digby's more cheesy videos as if I'll get something from the songs.. I am a pathetic person sometimes.

I went shopping today and bought milk, bread, butter, tea, and sugar. I have never bought groceries for under $10 before, but I totally did it today. I'm so proud of myself for not going into Wal-Mart and spending $30 or more like I usually do. Yay!

I am about to make macaroni and cheese. :)

Today, it officially put the happy face in front of the sad face in my predictive text. I feel like my phone understands that I'm happier. Notice the mood for this entry. It seemed appropriate. :)

Today I have been knitting, and I've watched TV for a while. For the most part it's been a completely boring day. I watched King of Queens and Ellen and I'm waiting for Scrubs to come on later. I'm actually not even convincing myself that my day was interesting. Time to make some popcorn!

So this morning, I woke up and my computer wasn't here. I freaked out and called my mom and she said she had taken it. She went over to my grandma's house with it without asking me first, and used it to play around on facebook with this "Farm Town" application she's got really addicted to. When I got it back, I logged into facebook and saw all these requests from people I didn't know. I was like, "What the hell.. who are all these people?" And there were so many invites from this farm town app - I get those ALL THE TIME and this morning I decided I was tired of it, so I blocked the application.

A couple minutes later I realized that I was logged into my little brother's facebook account. I had blocked that application on HIS account, and it was too late when I thought about it because I had logged out of his account already and into mine. So then I heard my mom trying to figure out why she couldn't find him on Farm Town and I was like "shit..."

For the past twenty minutes they've been trying to figure out what the deal was, and I haven't said anything. LOL, I'm a terrible daughter.. They are REALLY upset about it.